Emotional Separation and Boundaries - by Dale E. Johnson

           The period of separation and divorce is one of the most stressful times that any individual can experience. Unfortunately, that stress often results in individuals treating the other person in rude, aggressive, and controlling ways. The process of divorcing is a process of separating a married couple physically, emotionally, and financially. The process of accepting the reality of the emotional separation is often lost on one or even both of the parties. When children are involved, the problems of emotional separation can impart negative consequences.

            Anyone going through separation and divorce should expect to experience stress. How an individual handles that stress depends upon his or her willingness to accept the reality of what is occurring and the right of the other party to proceed. Where children are involved, the divorcing couple should try to create new balance where there is physical, financial, and some emotional separation but also a reconstructed co-parenting relationship with different boundaries than the couple previously had. Creating this new relationship with these new boundaries is not always easy but the sooner it can be accomplished, the better the children will be likely to fare.

            Counseling and therapy can be important and even necessary tool to help out clients get through this difficult time. We can help refer clients to professionals suited to the particular personalities and issues involved.